Help Yourself
Table of Contents
My favorite YouTube ADHD Channel with Jessica McCabe, How to ADHD and website. Non-shaming and celebrating neurodiversity, McCabe is very relatable for adult women with ADHD. If you use the Calm app, check out Daily Trip by Jeff Warren. He shares a very ADHD-friendly approach to mindfulness.
Brené Brown’s talk on setting boundaries. Follow this with an interview she did with Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, interviewed by Brené Brown. Favorite quote:
“Boundaries are not a wall or a moat. They are a drawbridge to self respect.”
I also benefited from this journal on Boundaries, by Switch Research. They do a great job of introducing psychological insights at a digestible pace.
Chronic Pain
Pain relief challenge with Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique. If you need exercises you can do from bed, try Just Fit.
It is so important to show up for art, music, writing (insert favorite activities here). When you are putting energy into something you love, there’s less energy to spend on anxiety. And frankly, when you’re doing what’s fulfilling, you are less bothered by other people’s issues. For help facing self-doubt, gaining confidence, and the spiritual aspects of creativity, I highly recommend Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.
Very worthwhile listen. Rethinking depression, lifestyle changes to support healthy mood and energy from the Calm App with Dr. Steve Ilardi, author of the Depression Cure.
Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes:
Nutrition: Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Thoughts: Anti-Rumination Strategies
Exercise: Happy Chemicals and Stress Relief
Light Exposure: Sunlight and Vitamin D
Social Support: Connect and Share
Sleep: Supporting Quality Rest
Friendly roles of stress according to Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk. My favorite TED Talk ever!
Here’s a wonderful exercise for Dealing with Negative Thoughts.
Not sure whether to stick with it, or leave a relationship? Read Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay. Already decided to leave? In an ideal world, you want to get along in the aftermath, or at least learn the lessons of your relationship. Conscious Uncoupling
Got kids involved? Go get two copies for each co-parent for a handy book, How to help your kids cope with divorce the sandcastles way by Gary Neuman.
Try this short Reactivity Rescue Session from Calm.
Also check out this video where a therapist discusses complex trauma and emotional self regulation. (At 7:30 in, she explains self-help healing strategies.)
Forgiveness, Healing and Acceptance
Do The Work with Byron Katie's Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. She even has an app for The Work. You can also download her free pdf of The Little Book. She says,
"I don’t let go of my thoughts—I meet them with understanding.
Then they let go of me."
Habits: make them fun, plus carrot and stick
Get inspired with this podcast. Then plan your Ideal (Productive) Day, and give yourself options:
On awakening... set the tone for the day. Try 5 morning rituals to win the day by Tim Ferris
Breakfast, the most important meal of the day.
Starting up... what inspires and energizes?
In the flow... what does your brain do best in the morning?
Lunch and Midday, and what about coffee and tea breaks?
Afternoon… what does your brain do best in the afternoon?
Supper and Evening… what does your brain do best at night, social time, relaxing?
Mindfulness & Meditation
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center offers free guided meditations, the best I've found. The Calm app has some free videos on YouTube. I especially like Daily Trip by Jeff Warren. He shares a very ADHD-friendly approach to mindfulness.
Sometimes I also like to get in a sort of trance by watching these awe inspiring timelapse videos by Nicholas Buer especially Ancients.
Elmo says it best for kids to get the idea of breathing to calm intense emotions. Try Elmo’s Belly Breathe.
Nature-Based Therapy
Nature Therapy involves sensing natural surroundings as part of talk therapy. This playlist features some of the science that is showing us how the brain and mind benefit from nature. Rooted Circle is founded by a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Charletta Erb, who takes therapy beyond words to help clients relate to nature and each other, and learn about ourselves.
Parenting
The Family Therapy Institute offers books, questionnaires, and music for parents and kids. Start with HowsYourFamily.com for 10 keys to happy family life. HappyKidsSongs.com teaches character lessons through music. Strong-WilledChild.com lays out a model for win-win parenting in tough cases of defiant behavior.
What if you have adult children living at home? Parenting Adult children living at home.
Going through divorce with shared custody? Helping your kids cope with divorce the Sandcastles Way. Court Parenting plans in California. Especially difficult co-parenting relationships? Read Joint custody with a jerk.
Dr. Brené Brown tells stories of shame based on her research, offering incredible insights with a touch of humor. Her TED talks are highly recommended! She offers free downloads of cards, posters, discussion guides as well.
I love the poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver for some self-compassion.
Improve communication and closeness. Dr. John Gottman presents evidence-based relationship tips in just 60 seconds a week. Try this: 6 hours a week to a better relationship from The Gottman Institute. Plus The Marriage Minute.
Take the Attachment style quiz to learn about you and your partner’s styles.
Relationship repair kit: Instructions on how to re-engage after a difficult argument and timeout.
Family or Couples learn practical applications of the latest research on relationships from my alma mater, The Family Institute, through the Tip of the Month.
Ironically, my favorite book on relationships is “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” by Shel Silverstein.
Esther Perel’s book Mating in Captivity explores desire in long-term relationships. Maybe you prefer her TED Talk like I do?
Esther Perel tackles why happy people cheat, and what we can learn from infidelity to prevent what kills relationships.